Good day everyone
Welcome back to the Café
Here is a piece of training I shared with a student this week.
I hope you find it helpful.
How Listening Helps
Listening is one of the vital necessities of human communication. If you don’t listen to people, you miss out on one of the best ways to influence people. People will always listen to you when you listen to them. This is why I believe one of the most powerful influencing tools is listening.
When you listen to what’s on a person’s mind, you will find that communication barriers are broken. Even if you think you know what they are going to say, listen to them. If you are a poor listener, people will feel that you are not interested in them.
People will like you if you listen to them. How do you feel about people who listen to what you have to say? Isn’t your admiration for them high? Others will feel the same way about you.
Eliminate All Distractions
Distractions inhibit good talkers and listeners. You must remove all distractions when listening to another person. You want to create a very warm and comfortable atmosphere for the other person.
What Questioning Will Do
When we ask questions during a conversation, it stimulates the person’s thinking process. And when you enable their thinking processes, you give them the chance to express their ideas and feelings. The only way you will find out what you want to know about another is by asking questions.
If you can help people think on their own, they will respect you and like you. You have been able to do something for them that they were not able to do for themselves. By listening to others, you also fulfill their need to feel important. Through your concern, they feel special.
Keep the Conversation Open
To listen, you must keep the conversation open. Some people won’t tell you everything on their minds, so you may have to question them to keep the conversation going. Ask open-ended questions. All of your questions should relate to who, what, why, where, when, and how.
What Questions Do You Ask?
The questions you ask must have a specific purpose. If they don’t, you will lose credibility. It would be best if you asked questions the person understands. Don’t confuse other people by asking complicated questions, such as questions with many parts. Ask them one part of a question at a time. Try to get others to tell you “why.” “Why” is one of the best questions to ask people.
The reason for asking people questions is to get definite answers. Your questions should prompt concrete responses, and they should discourage others from guessing at the answers. The therapeutic value of questioning is lost when people guess at answers.
How to Resolve an Argument by Listening
I have solved many arguments just by listening. It may be hard to believe, but it does work. Listening has worked for me, even in difficult situations. I once found myself in a situation where a coworker was yelling to get his point across and telling me how right he was. Even if the argument is meaningless, here is how to deal with the situation to come out on top.
The first thing you should do is listen to what the person has to say without once interrupting. This is where your listening skill will come in handy. It would help if you occasionally said “yes” or “I understand” to show the other person that you are listening.
It is essential that you agree with the other person’s point of view. If you don’t think the other person is correct, you must at least let the other person know that you understand his point of view. When the other person is finished saying what he had to say, ask him, “what can I do for you?’
This statement throws many people off because they don’t expect it. After using this technique, you will find that most people give in to your point of view. The reason for this is that all people want is for someone to listen to them.
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